I once heard that the one question God would ask when we get to heaven is, “Did you truly believe that I loved you?” This question stuck with me and caused me to think back to moments where I felt like I had struggled the most. When I was afraid, did I really believe that God loved me? When I was having a moment of panic, did I really believe God loved me? Even now, there are moments where I have to ask myself, do I really believe God loves me? The answer is
. . . well, I want to say the answer is yes. In my heart I say yes, but my actions do not always exhibit the same enthusiastic answer. When I fear that all will work out according to His plan, when I doubt that He will carry me through, when I allow my feelings to trump His Word, I am answering that question with a resounding no.
At times it seems no matter how hard I try, I am unable to fully
surrender to Him and let him take the reins of my life. But the spirit
of power and self-control that He has given us reminds me that when
the feeling of fear attempts to surround me, I have a choice. I can
choose to run and hide inside my fears or I can choose to hold on
tight! What relief that brings to my heart. The
fact that I have an amazing God who not only lets me hold on tight to
Him, but who is holding on even tighter to me is incredible.