[Scene opens with Inga on the phone, talking to a friend.]
Inga: Hey there Judy....I’m okay....Done shopping? (disgusted) Not hardly! You know how much I looooooooove Christmas shopping. This Christmas thing is such a pain. I don’t have time for all the decorating, baking, and parties, let alone time to find the perfect gift! I wish they would just cancel Christmas! Well, I better get back to ‘making my list and checking it twice.’
(sarcastic) Happy Holidays! (hangs up phone)
(walks to computer) Okay computer....let’s see what you can do for me. Google can find anything...let’s try searching for ‘the perfect gift’....Well, would you look at that! ‘Let us help you find The Perfect Gift–Program Available Worldwide–Not sold in stores–Free for the asking–Act Now–Time is Short–Click here to request yours today! Limit one per person–tell your friends so they can receive it too!’ Wow...this sounds like exactly what I need to make this holiday bright. (CLICK!)
(Angel in disguise enters from back, carrying box marked “The Perfect Gift”, followed by children marching like toy soldiers)
(Reading screen) ‘Processing request....Thank you for your order! It is on its way to you now’...Wait a minute...how can it be on its way? I didn’t get to type in my name or address. I knew it was too good to be true! (Shuts computer roughly and stands up just as door bell rings)
Inga: Who can that be? (Goes to door)
Oh...hello. Can I help you?
Angel: Yes, ma’am. I have a delivery for Miss Inga da Pointe. It’s from Find the Perfect Gift.com
Inga: Wow! That was fast. Excuse me…where are my manners. Please come in. You can set it...umm them down here (along stage). (After all are settled) Thank you. (As angel leaves) Happy Holidays!
Angel: Merry Christmas, ma’am. (exits)
Inga: ‘The Perfect Gift’...I wonder what all this stuff is for. The return address says Bethlehem...that’s weird. I don’t know anyone from Bethlehem...and how did they know where to send it? (Lifts out Bible with instructions wrapped around it like book cover)
(Reading) Instructions for Finding ‘The Perfect Gift’. Some assembly required. Oh Great! Okay, I can do this...one step at a time...
Step 1: Assemble environmental controls as shown in diagram A. (Two tallest kids facing each other holding arms up to create roof)
Step 2: Assemble gift basket as shown in diagram B and place inside stable environment. (Two smaller children, seated under ‘roof’ facing each other, holding hands to simulate manger)
Step 3: Assemble marketing team to tell others about ‘The Perfect Gift’ program. See diagram C. Marketing team?? What in the world?? This sounds like a scam...but it was free, so no harm in forging ahead, I guess. Let’s see...diagram C...(Put wings on girls picked to be angels, and place them to east of stable environment.)
Step 4: Assemble group of advisors to provide guidance in finding ‘The Perfect Gift’. (Assemble
shepherds’ crook(s)) and place between marketing team and stable environment according to diagram D.
Step 5: Seek the input of men who have experience in gift selection (take crowns from box). Place to the west of the stable environment, facing east. (Put crowns on selected wise men and place per above).
Step 6: Place two people near gift box in preparation for delivery of ‘The
Perfect Gift.’ (Boy and girl kneel behind gift box)
(Angel comes in from the back in preparation for line after step 8)
Step 7: Place linens into gift box.
Step 8: Congratulations! You are ready to receive the Perfect Gift! Baby not included....
BABY NOT INCLUDED??? A baby is the Perfect Gift? For who?... Why?... What were they thinking???
Angel: (startles Inga) Inga, the baby is Jesus, God’s Perfect Gift to the world. The gift is for you and for all who will receive Him into their hearts, because...
“God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, begotten not made, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”
Merry Christmas, Inga.
Piano starts...all sing “Joy to the World”
Copyright 2007 Tanya McIlravy
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