This Old Church
by Gail Peterson

 
 
 

Cast  

Announcer           

“Rob Bila”           

“Storm Heybrams”         

“Tom Perfect”      

“Tim Toolman”    

“the Carpenter”              

 

Props

 

Music from “This Old House” can be downloaded off internet; see “TV Theme Songs; table with blueprints; chair for Rob and Storm, and chair to the side for applicant.

 

“Rob Bila” & “Storm Heybrams” should wear jeans, plaid shirts; work boots

 

“Tom” should wear “docker-type pants; proper long sleeve, button-down collar shirt, dress shoes carrying only a coffee cup

 

“Tim” should wear jeans & work shirt not tucked in, jacket & gloves & jog shoes & tool belt. Tools should be hanging off tool belt and “clanging”. During interview, Tim slowly takes off gloves to reveal bandaged finger and then takes off jacket to reveal bandaged arm.

 

“The Carpenter” wears jeans, work shirt, work boots and carrying a Bible.

 

Announcer  Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to,  “This Old Church” (cue up "This Old House" music, if available) with your hosts Rob Bila and Storm Heybrams

 

(Rob & Storm standing near table)

 

Rob: Hi, and Welcome to “This Old Church”. Today, we’re going to be discussing a new project but first, Storm and I thought it would be  beneficial to discuss the importance of selecting a good builder. What does it take to fine the excellence needed for your building and remodeling project. Right, Storm? (Rob & Storm sit down at table)

 

Storm: Right, Rob. Selecting the right individual or company to work on your project is very important so Rob and I have put together some “do’s & don’ts” and then we are going to actually interview a couple of candidates..  

 

Rob: First of all, you need to have your homework done. Do have your plans ready to go over with any potential builder.

 

Storm:  Do get referrals from reputable building supply companies.

 

Rob: Don’t accept the lowest price. Get at least two or three bids

 

Storm: Check references.


Rob: Is the builder a member of a professional association that has standards and a code of ethics?

 

Storm: Ask if the builder carries insurance.
 
Rob: Don’t pay everything up front. You should have an agreement on partial payments throughout the project.


Storm: Make sure you have a complete contract and read it carefully. A detailed description of all the work should be listed on the contract including a breakdown of all labor and material costs and payment terms.

 

Rob: Do have agreed upon starting and ending dates.

 

Storm:  And find out how all the debris and material will be removed once the project is finished.

 

Rob: Okay, well…I think that covers some of the do’s & don’ts. Now, lets talk to a couple of individuals I’ve asked to stop by the show. Will the first builder please come in.

(enter Tom)   And your name, sir?

 

Tom: Tom Perfect, but you can call me Mr. Perfect (takes a sip from coffee cup).

 

Rob: Now, ahhh, Mr. Perfect, how long have you been a builder?

 

Tom: Since I graduated from Harvard, I put myself through school by doing remodeling jobs on the side.

 

Rob: Well, that’s impressive. What kind of projects have you worked on lately?

 

Tom:  (rather “uppity attitude”) I handle only the best projects…Trump Tower, Sears Building those are just a few of my major accomplishments. I’ve done work for the Rothchilds, the Kennedys, of course and I’m currently working on a 100 story building for Minneapolis and a 75 story building for Detroit.

 

Rob: My goodness, you’re a busy builder. What is your fee and are you interested in our project?

 

Tom: I charge $10,000 upfront just for scheduling me and I’m sure I could fit it in somewhere in my schedule.

 

Rob: Okay…well, thank you for coming by. We’ll let you know our decision next week.

 

Tom: As long as it’s by Monday, I’m going on a cruise and I won’t be back for 3 weeks.

(Tom exits)

 

Storm: Okay….well, that’s one type of builder you might want to think twice about. Probably expensive and scheduling could be a problem. Okay, let’s have our next applicant.

(enter Tim) And, your name sir??

 

Tim: (sits down fumbling with tools) My name is Tim…..I’m Tim Toolman.

 

Storm: Well, Tim, I see you have a lot of tools.

 

Tim: Yes, these are like my children. They go with me everywhere. (could start whimpering as he looks at a couple of tools)  I’m reeeeally attached to them.

 

Rob: Okay, Tim,  now how long have you been a builder?

 

Tim: Well, let’s see….. I started building sand castles when I was 3 and then I moved up to Lincoln Logs…..

 

Rob: Ahhh, Tim, I was referring to building real projects.

 

Tim: Oh, well I decided to become a builder a while back when I changed my career.

 

Storm: Changed your career from what?

 

Tim: I was a shoe salesman.

 

Rob: (amazed) How long have you been a builder?

 

Tim: About 5 or maybe 6….

 

Storm: Years?

 

Tim: Naw….months. Yep, it’s been about 6 months since I hung up my shoehorn. I’ve worked on 3 projects since then.

 

Rob: Really? What kind of projects?

 

Tim: Well, my first project was a basement remodeling (starts taking off gloves to show bandaged fingers). That was a good starting project. I learned a lot from that.

 

Storm: And since that project, what have you done?

 

Tim: Well……(starts taking off jacket to show bandaged arm) I did a room addition. Yeah, that was a real learning experience.

 

Rob: You seem to have a few injuries. Did they happen on the job?

 

Tim: Ahhh, yeah actually, they did but that’s okay, I didn’t charge the customer for my week at the hospital. And the doctor said I’ll be good as new in 3 weeks.

 

Rob: What is your fee?

 

Tim: Oh…well now, let’s see, I guess $1,000 would be okay…that way I can pay up my insurance premium.

 

Rob: Well, Tim, thanks for stopping by. Well let you know.

 

Tim: (gets up to leave and starts moaning) Oh, my aching back; I guess I’d better go lay down. (walks out).

 

Storm: Well, we’ve got one more builder. Let’s meet him..

 

Rob: Folks, that’s why these meetings are so important. Okay will the next builder come in.

(enter the Carpenter) Welcome…and you are?….

 

The Carpenter: I’m just a carpenter.

 

Storm: Okay…well, we have a few questions about your building experience.

 

The Carpenter: I’ve been a carpenter all my life. My father taught me everything I know.

 

Rob: Do you have a specialty?

 

The Carpenter: Churches are my specialty. I’m an expert in following the blueprints, their foundation and their structure. I have all the necessary tools and I have a crew of12 that help me. We put our heart and souls into the building of a church. You see, as my father taught me and as I have taught my crew of 12, the most important foundation in life is through the church. But it’s not cheap to build a church. It does take money to build to make it strong and safe for all who enter its doors.

 

Rob: Well, what is your fee or commission?

 

The Carpenter: I charge the standard building fee for materials and labor for my crew. And my commission is building a church for the foundation of life for our children and our families.

 

(Rob & Storm stand up)

 

Rob: Well, Storm and I would like to thank you for stopping by and after the show, we’d like

to meet your crew and talk about our project.

 

(Rob & Storm shake hands with The Carpenter and The Carpenter  exits)

 

Storm: Rob, I think I speak for both of us, this truly was a special show. I think we all learned something.

 

Rob: Absolutely, Storm. We all know building projects, remodeling…takes money and it takes experienced builders to do the job right. I think that’s it for today’s show. Storm, how about you and I head outside and meet the rest of the carpenter’s crew. I’d like to hear more them.

 

Pastor or layperson(s) can then discuss the Building Appeal needed from the congregation.

 

Copyright 2002 Gail Peterson gpeterson@cauto.com  

This script can be edited, copied and distributed without prior permission if there is no charge made for the work produced. This copyright notice should be included. If this work is edited, please include “edited by” under my name.

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